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totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid. 

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid. 

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

(via i-suck-dick)

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Fuck, my tea.
—me approximately an hour after every time I make tea (via peachiecreme)

(via electricpowerbottom)

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tupacabra:

i dialed 666 and it rang twice and then went to voicemail??? the devil fckin SAW that i was calling, decided i wasn’t worth his time, and hit decline???? wow. fuck a fake friend where ya real friends at…………….

(via hotwhiteguy)

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lumos5001:

sterlingkato:

MEMO: The space bar is important. 

also punctuation placement 

lumos5001:

sterlingkato:

MEMO: The space bar is important. 

also punctuation placement 

(via hotwhiteguy)

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intergalacticsloth:

askerenjaegerisfuckingawesome:

tennants-hair:

VIVA LA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU? ALL OF YOU WHO HAD WRITTEN OFF PLUTO, WHO HAD CROSSED IT OFF YOUR PLANET LIST? REMEMBER HOW IT WAS ‘TOO SMALL” TO BE A PLANET? HOW NASA, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMICAL UNION REMOVED ITS PLANETARY STATUS AND  CHANGED ITS NAME TO 134340? HOW EVERYONE THEN CONSIDERED THERE TO BE EIGHT PLANETS, NOT NINE?

BUT SOME OF US REMAINED LOYAL TO PLUTO. IT WAS NEVER FORGOTTEN. AND NOW HERE WE ARE, AND JUSTICE IS UPON US AFTER 8 YEARS.

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? PLUTO HAS AT LEAST FIVE MOONS, A PRETTY BIG NUMBER FOR A ”DWARF-PLANET”, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN EARTH, QUITE BIGGER THAN PLUTO AND AN OFFICIAL PLANET ONLY HAS ONE. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? ERIS, THE PLANET WHICH EVERYONE THOUGHT TO BE BIGGER THAN PLUTO, MAY NOT BE BIGGER AFTER ALL. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT PLUTO HAS AN ATMOSHPERE. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SUPPOSEDLY NON-PLANET HAS AN ATMOSPHERE. AGAIN, ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE?

SO LOOK AT THIS. NEW FINDINGS, AND A NEW AGE FOR PLUTO. AN AGE OF RECOGNITION AND APPRECIATION. AND ALLOW ME TO CLOSE THIS -somewhat aggressive-PRESENTATION OF OPINION WITH THE MOTTO OF THE PLUTO APOLOGISTS: VIVA LA PLUTO!

Get “Viva la Pluto” to be a trending tag

The Pluto fandom doesn’t fuck around

(via growlethal)

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svveden:

svveden:

what do you call a sphere full of idiots

earth

(via sluttykrab)

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thought-not-spoken:

sableable:

animal crossing 4: you get mistaken for the new pope

animal crossing: new belief

(via umbreonly)

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styleswanky:

mom, dad, im gay. im very gay. haha tricked you i mean gay as in happy. pretty happy to have another mans dick in my ass

(via humoristics)

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siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

(via hotwhiteguy)